How fierce can I be?

It has been such a good week, I almost don't want it to be over for fear that next week will not be able to match it and hence be disappointing. As much as I love Lydia, not having Italian makes life so much easier! Highlights of the week include some practical and prudent shopping, learning how to apply fake eyelashes, AND capturing the soul of frog eyes on FILM! That's right! I informed Mommy-M and Pani Malgosia at the beginning of my lesson that we were to take a picture at the end. Well Frog Eyes came in during the last 5 minutes of my lesson and I was able to capture him too without looking suspicious, something I am extremely aware of since #1 I turn bright red every time I talk to him and #2 Igor Baron told me today that when you look at my eyes they say (seem) to say everything I am feeling (how does he know this for sure?) But about this picture,- AM I A LUCKY GIRL OR WHAT!!!!!! It's like a dream come true. Now I will be able to stare at frog-eyes whenever I dern well please!

RE: this practical and prudent shopping. I have discovered the secret to pleasant shopping which is to do it alone which suprisingly is ever better than doing it with Kris, which is pretty darn fun, let me tell you. I finally acquired those Italian boots I've been eyeing since last autumn and some other fine things in the process- a couple skirts and an awesome sweater.

But after I did this shopping- it took a couple days all together (instead of having Italian class I looked for Italian boots)I realized that maybe I am a truly strange creature. I ate lunch in a little sit down sandwich bar the other day, all alone and it didn't strike me as odd until after the fact. I did maybe 3 hours of shopping this week, alone, and for once, liked shopping. Is there something wrong with me?

There is this guy, I would say cresting 45, who comes and uses the (ghetto) computer lab at the seminary from time to time and he likes to practice his English on me. I hadn't seen him in a while until today, so we were chatting and he asked me about life, my schedule, etc., and when I was telling him what all I do in a day, somehow, he asked me something about guys and don't I have time for them or what about my interests. I said that I am simply not interested in guys, or girls (after he asked if that was the case). And he was like "don't you need some output for your 'energies'" and I was like, uh, totally no. I have music, I have my poetry, what else do I need? I'm not sure if he bought it, and quite frankly, I don't care. 98% of the time I feel that way. There are people on this earth whom I want to be with at appropriate times, but at the end of the day what gets me through is that thought of coming home and being alone. Is there something wrong with me? What does this prove? That I am "fiercely independent" or totally messed up? Rhetorical questions of an open heart on a Thursday night.