As Promised

Those who know me know that I don't make promises. But suprisingly enough, I have been finding myself promising Nicole Ampon Fisher numerous things. A birthday cake, corn rows, and enlightnement on the Potty Mouth Rule Book are are all on the list- the first two to be fufilled at a later date, and the third on today's blog.

I would refer you back to the blog which lists Potty Mouth swears in order of vulgarity and their vegetarian equivilents, except that I have deleted all logs with questionable content in an attempt to WWJD. In this case, I think Jesus would have been a peace making plegmatic. Anyway, since we cannot refer to that glorious list (let he who reads understand), I will simply give my personal opinion concerning potty mouth and options I choose to avoid it.

There are some words which should simply not be said because their denotaions are vulgar. Period. We know which word(s) this(these) is(are). Then there are words which are not to be said (or written in blogs) although their denotaion is no worse, or perhaps even less crude than other words which are socially acceptable. And clearly the Lord's name in any form should never be used, though nick name derivitives of this are also often accepted.

Don't you just love the consistency?

So Nicole Ampon Fisher, beautiful girls such as yourself should not use questionable words OR their vegetarian equivilents because you should attain to make what comes out of your mouth at least half as beautiful as your face (this will be difficult as you are gorgeous, but do try).

My advice? I like exclamations, but instead of being a conformist, I like to make up my own. When Polish people take the Lord's name in vain (which they love to do) I simply call on either Budda or the Pope. It goes like this:

polish student: "Oh Boze!"
Dolly, the non conformist: "Oh Benedict!" (this REALLY gets their attention)

You can use your favorite ice cream as an exclamation. For example: You've just realized you forgot your mobile phone at home. So you say: "Oh Fudge Nut Bars!" Or you can simply start saying Polish exclamations, listed below in order of my personal preference:

O Kurcze! (Oh Chicken) (KOOR-che)
Kurcze Blady! (Pale Chicken) (KOOR-che BLAD-eh)
O Jej! (like Oh MY or Oh No) (oh yay)
Jene! (I have no idea) (YEN-e)
O Jajku! (Oh Egg) (oh YAY-koo)
O Ludzie! (Oh People) (oh LOO-jeh) (this "j" is like as in "julie")

Not only will you not offend anyone, but you will impress them with your knowing a second language.